Victoria and Delilah chat with Stephanie Loewenstern, founder of Bright Link Talent, where she discusses running her own company while balancing being a single mom.
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0:00
All right, guys, let's huddle up.
0:04
Today we have a very special guest,
0:07
my sister, Stephanie Lowenstein.
0:10
Stephanie.
0:12
- Oh, yeah.
0:12
- Whoo, claps.
0:15
Stephanie is actually the main person
0:18
who got me into tech sales
0:21
and who got me into being an SDR in the first place.
0:24
So Steph, I owe you a lot of credit.
0:26
Do you wanna go ahead and introduce yourself,
0:29
where you're at, what your role is, and so forth?
0:32
- Sure, first of all, I wanna say,
0:33
I'm proud of my little sisters.
0:36
Delilah and Victoria, I definitely wanna take a moment
0:39
to acknowledge you.
0:40
Thanks for having me.
0:42
My name is Stephanie Lowenstein,
0:43
I'm the founder of Brightling Talent.
0:45
I specialize in working with high growth technology companies.
0:49
And typically the earlier stage focused
0:53
on helping them with hiring strategy
0:54
and any hires that are go-to-market.
0:56
So sales, marketing, ops, anything,
0:58
not engineering, essentially.
1:00
Started it five years ago,
1:03
just celebrated five years in business.
1:05
It's exciting, and yeah, I enjoy it.
1:08
Whoo!
1:09
- So essentially, if you are in tech
1:11
and you're watching this
1:12
and you are seeking a job, look no further
1:16
than Stephanie and her team at Brightling Talent,
1:19
'cause they are amazing.
1:20
- If you're a hiring manager
1:21
or you're a startup that's stuck on hiring,
1:24
you know where to find a really good consultant.
1:26
She does it all.
1:28
So speaking of doing it all,
1:30
I would love for you to start off by telling us.
1:32
So a little bit of extra background on stuff.
1:35
She came from sort of like a corporate job
1:38
where she was doing a lot of similar work to an SDR
1:41
and she actually broke away from that
1:43
and started her own business
1:44
hence her five year anniversary with Brightling Talent
1:47
that just came up.
1:48
So I would love to hear how you kind of built up
1:52
that courage to leave that role, that corporate role
1:54
and start your own business
1:56
and what inspired you to do that.
1:58
- Well, first I will preface with saying Victoria
2:00
and I come from a family entrepreneur.
2:03
So it's been in our blood.
2:04
I always knew I enjoyed making money, right?
2:08
Or like, I always enjoyed the hustle.
2:10
So when I started working and staffing in 2014,
2:15
I had this intuitive thought
2:16
that I was gonna end up doing this for myself.
2:18
In 2017, I moved to New York City
2:21
to work for a recruiting agency.
2:23
And I was on the sales side
2:25
and I was focused on generating new business
2:28
for the company.
2:28
It was a split desk.
2:29
So I wasn't at the time focused on recruiting.
2:31
I had done that prior.
2:33
- Interesting.
2:34
- And to put it bluntly, I was in an office
2:37
with a bunch of mean girls.
2:38
So there was about six of us.
2:40
The company was great, the culture was great.
2:41
We were just a satellite office
2:43
and the culture was just different.
2:44
So at one point, I kind of just got tired of it.
2:48
I'm tired of trying to fit in,
2:50
tired of trying to be in this mold.
2:52
I was doing 50 to 60 phone calls of outreach day.
2:55
It was hustling around the city,
2:56
like a little girl at 60 grand.
2:58
That's it.
2:59
So I thought, why do I do this for myself?
3:02
Like, why am I working so hard?
3:04
I might as well have just worked so hard for myself
3:07
and see what happens,
3:08
rather than make this amount of money for this business
3:11
and be unhappy because of the culture.
3:14
So I took a leap of faith and I left.
3:17
- Wow, amazing.
3:18
- Yeah.
3:19
So that's amazing.
3:21
So you had a little bit of recruiting background,
3:23
kind of switched to sales.
3:24
So you had, you combined the two
3:26
and created your own business,
3:28
Brightling Telling,
3:29
that's where you have both sides of the business.
3:32
So is it hard?
3:33
Do you find balancing like the recruiting portion
3:36
with the sales or do you like,
3:39
do you have a good flow of that now?
3:41
Like how was that building that portion up over the years?
3:44
- It's hard.
3:44
I'll be honest with you,
3:46
especially 'cause my life has changed so much
3:47
throughout the five years.
3:49
I went from being single in New York City,
3:51
hustling, running around with,
3:52
it's like almost like that beginner mindset
3:54
when you start a new job
3:54
and they're like just kind of just fish
3:56
and try to figure it out
3:57
and then we'll narrow and go from there.
3:58
It's essentially what I was doing.
3:59
So when my lifestyle was different,
4:02
it was a little easier.
4:03
Fast forward five years,
4:05
I'm a single mother with full time custody,
4:08
essentially of my son.
4:09
So like it's a lot different.
4:11
I don't have the same freedom and flexibility
4:12
to be like running around and going to networking events.
4:14
So a lot of it throughout the years
4:16
have been like word of mouth and referrals
4:18
and it's been flows.
4:19
It has inflows and the important part
4:20
has been like supporting myself with the team.
4:22
So like a recruiter helps me with like the screens
4:26
and other people in my corner
4:28
who I'm building relationships to get that flow going.
4:31
- What would you say is like the most challenging part
4:35
of maintaining your own business?
4:37
- Quite frankly, it's different
4:39
and I literally just had been sharing this.
4:40
I think being a full time single mom to change the game.
4:43
In a good way too though,
4:44
it's made me be more organized and efficient with my time
4:47
and understanding like who are the types of clients
4:49
I wanna work with and who are the types that I don't.
4:51
And it also has enforced me to create boundaries
4:53
and processes that will make me more successful
4:56
as I continue to grow my consulting business
4:57
and my recruiting practice.
4:59
- I also feel like it probably just gives you
5:01
really good motivation too because it's like
5:04
you have yourself to rely on and Benjamin only has you
5:09
to rely on.
5:09
So it gives you that motivation to want to be able
5:12
to provide and hustle and be able to give him
5:17
the life that we essentially grew up with as well.
5:20
- I have to agree with you.
5:22
Like I had a level of success like before I Benjamin.
5:24
Like when a lot of us recruiters were like
5:26
at the height of our game,
5:27
honestly like companies were throwing money around,
5:29
it wasn't as competitive.
5:31
And I think that when I became a new mother,
5:34
it was hard for me to work at the capacity
5:37
and at the pace that I was used to prior.
5:39
So it was very frustrating because things weren't flowing
5:41
in like I was used to.
5:43
I think now that it's been a year since my son was born
5:47
and like the smoke has cleared,
5:49
I have more energy and drive to create that future for my son.
5:54
Therefore, my strategy now is, you know,
5:57
creating content on LinkedIn, reaching out,
5:58
being more direct and asking for support,
6:00
asking for referrals, giving before I'm getting,
6:02
like being generous with my time in my lead.
6:05
So again, just to answer your question to Lila,
6:07
like it's just up and down managing the two.
6:10
Like any business.
6:11
- Yeah, for sure.
6:12
But that brings me kind of to my next point is like,
6:14
I don't know, Steph, maybe realize how hardworking you are.
6:17
I mean, it's pretty obvious if you're just listening
6:19
to this podcast, she is a business owner, a single mother.
6:24
She's recruiting, she's also trying to sell and network.
6:28
Like you're wearing so many different hats.
6:30
I know you probably don't have a simple answer for this,
6:33
but can you tell us a little bit about how you balance
6:36
your work and life together?
6:38
I'm sure there's so many people watching this
6:40
that can relate to like being a mother and also working.
6:43
And you seem, I mean, it looks on the outside.
6:46
You seem to have it figured out,
6:47
which you're doing great job if you don't,
6:50
because it looks like it.
6:51
But yeah, talk to us a little bit about that.
6:53
- It's funny you say this to Lila
6:54
because I'm literally this week have been posting
6:57
some more content and having more conversations
6:59
with people about like the work-life balance.
7:02
It's interesting you say that I'm like managing it
7:05
behind closed doors.
7:06
It's extremely difficult.
7:08
And the process of learning is extremely painful
7:10
and it's not easy.
7:13
So I don't want to give off the impression
7:15
that I have it figured out,
7:16
but I'm learning and I know I've gotten a lot better at it
7:19
than I did or how I was being effective, you know,
7:22
a year ago when my son was three months old.
7:24
- Maybe you can talk about also the upside that you've seen.
7:29
Like sure, there's been a lot of challenges,
7:31
but what about like the good things
7:33
that are coming out of it?
7:34
- I'm learning to just be myself
7:38
and rediscovering like who I am,
7:40
which essentially impacts the business, right?
7:43
So like I'm attracting the right customers
7:46
to my base.
7:47
I'm also connecting with my, with people on a human level,
7:49
which is so important when you're in the recruiting business.
7:52
Like you need to be a safe space for people
7:53
to like share vulnerably like what they're looking for
7:56
when they're hiring a team or what they're looking for
7:59
when they're going to their next position.
8:01
So, you know, and through my story, right?
8:03
Like if you really know my story, like I've been able
8:06
to inspire other people through my story.
8:08
So for example, I've had people, a ton of people DM me online
8:13
and say thank you so much for being vulnerable
8:14
and sharing this.
8:15
I'm enjoying your content.
8:16
People are feeling safe to reach out to me
8:18
and share and confidence what they're looking for
8:20
as their next step and their careers
8:22
because I'm creating that space.
8:23
So I think that that's one thing.
8:26
The other thing that's come out of this Victoria and Delilah
8:28
is knowing who I want to surround myself with,
8:30
which essentially is like creating
8:31
and like a leveling up my life.
8:34
And I wouldn't have had that opportunity
8:35
if I didn't cut the negativity out 15 months ago.
8:39
You know, they say like you're, you're a,
8:42
you're a combination of the five people
8:43
that you hang out with.
8:45
So let's just say that like it's essentially
8:47
way better now than it was.
8:49
- I think you mentioned a good point too
8:50
because when it comes to recruiting,
8:52
like your recruiters essentially, I don't know.
8:55
I think of them as like someone that you can be really
8:57
transparent with, vulnerable with like stuff.
9:00
I know that you've helped coach people
9:01
on negotiating salaries.
9:03
You've been there when they're crying, when they get rejected,
9:05
when they get accepted and it's kind of like a wave of emotions.
9:08
So maybe you can talk a little bit about that,
9:11
of how like you hold essentially your candidate
9:13
or even your client's hand.
9:15
- I feel like I've learned so much from working
9:18
with my clients and my candidates.
9:20
And like I said, like it's like any relationship,
9:22
even when it's new, it's really important to like set
9:24
like a level of trust.
9:25
And then like as you get to know each other
9:27
more things open up.
9:28
And I've honestly, some of my candidates
9:30
have become some of my closest friends.
9:31
Like, and ironically, some of like my best clients
9:34
came from candidates that I've never even placed,
9:35
but we've just created such a rap report
9:37
through the process that's, yeah, I don't know,
9:40
just like all trinkles together,
9:41
especially when you've been doing this on your own
9:43
for five years, like the relationships compound over time.
9:45
- You know, your job is really interesting
9:48
in the fact that you're, obviously you're dealing
9:50
with the accounts that need candidates,
9:53
but you're also dealing with the candidates
9:55
that are probably to Victoria's point
9:56
are in a very vulnerable state
9:59
and maybe aren't sure what their next steps
10:02
or maybe they were just in a riff or something.
10:04
And to be able to have a company that they can trust,
10:09
such as Breitling Talent that can really understand them
10:11
doesn't just see them as like another applicant,
10:14
like a number, right?
10:15
Just like a person, I think goes such a long way.
10:20
And that's why if you're not familiar with Stephanie
10:23
on LinkedIn, like she's very active
10:25
and her posts are amazing, but do you have,
10:27
I find that like I'm very attracted to the posts
10:30
that you make that are about your personal life
10:32
and like balancing, you know, being a single mom
10:35
and working because it happens to be very relatable.
10:38
And that's probably a lot of the accounts
10:40
and the candidates that you're dealing with
10:42
have maybe not entirely similar situations,
10:45
but tough situations that they have to work through now
10:48
and you are actually helping them get that next step.
10:51
Like what you're doing is bigger than most things.
10:55
Recruiters get like a bad rep at least some,
10:57
like some people are like, they just want money,
10:59
they just want to make the placement,
11:01
they want to push resumes across the table, fill bodies.
11:04
For me, it's like never been about that.
11:06
For me, it's about finding the right candidate
11:07
for the client and finding the right job
11:10
for the candidate.
11:10
And like honestly, you get a $30,000 commission
11:13
sitting in front of my face.
11:14
If it's not a fit, I have no problem pulling a candidate
11:17
out of a job if I think they're going to be miserable.
11:19
I don't care.
11:20
I live in this abundance mindset.
11:21
And if I come from a place of service,
11:23
it always works itself out in the end.
11:25
- Hey, men, that's incredible.
11:27
- Again, that's why I think it's so important,
11:29
which is great that you run your own show essentially, right?
11:34
So just being able to be there for the client
11:36
and for the candidate.
11:37
Maybe you can give some tips on how people
11:40
can negotiate their salary.
11:41
- I will preface by saying this.
11:43
There's so many different opinions.
11:44
So like you'll get canceled either way, you know?
11:47
How can, can you get me an example?
11:49
- No, we can't link you here.
11:50
It's a safe space.
11:51
- I was just going to say it's a safe space.
11:53
Can you give me an example?
11:57
- Maybe just talk to us about how you coach your candidates
12:02
on negotiating their salary.
12:04
I've heard some great success stories from candidates
12:07
that I've spoken with that have worked with you in the past
12:11
and have given nothing but great reviews.
12:13
So maybe you can just, you know, talk through that.
12:15
- I never think there's an issue with asking.
12:18
I think you should ask, like if you have a set bar,
12:21
but I will say pay transparency.
12:23
I do think it's really important to be transparent
12:25
about pay on the front end, okay?
12:27
So like if a company is only budgeted from like 150 to 200
12:31
and you're optimizing at this amount,
12:33
like it makes sense that you should know what you're getting
12:35
into as you move forward through the process.
12:37
But that's sad.
12:38
If you're talking five, $10,000, there are times
12:41
where I think it's okay to ask for more money
12:43
or ask for some sort of sign on or something.
12:46
If like you think about it,
12:46
it's like really just not gonna work.
12:48
I think that's okay.
12:49
I'll give an example.
12:50
I had a customer a few years ago who basically
12:55
loved a candidate of mine.
12:57
She got to the offer stage.
12:58
She gave her the highest ban that they had.
13:01
The candidate did come back and ask for an extra
13:03
like five or $10,000.
13:04
It annoyed the client.
13:06
Like she, it annoyed the client.
13:08
'Cause when the candidate asked me like, is it okay?
13:10
If like I just ask, I'm like, yeah,
13:11
there's nothing wrong with asking.
13:13
The client really wanted to pull the offer.
13:15
She was that annoyed.
13:19
Long story short, I ended up managing the two,
13:22
figuring it out.
13:23
She ended up accepting the offer at the ask
13:25
that she had came back with.
13:27
And about two, two and a half years later,
13:29
she's been promoted and she's doing great.
13:30
So like thank God that hiring manager who,
13:34
or the founder who was like a little taken back
13:36
by the bold ask moved through that
13:39
because she made a huge impact on their business
13:41
and continues to do so.
13:42
And for that candidates changed her life.
13:44
So she's super grateful that they were able
13:46
to work it out in the end.
13:47
So my point is like, I think it's okay to ask
13:49
but also know what you're getting into
13:52
before you move forward in the process.
13:53
And for the hiring managers or founders,
13:55
it's really important that you're clear
13:57
on like what you're willing to pay out
13:58
at the beginning and not at the end.
14:00
- Absolutely, I love that.
14:02
Now that just gets me curious because I feel like you do
14:06
work with hiring managers and SDRs quite frequently,
14:10
is what would you say are like the top three qualities
14:14
that hiring managers are looking for in an SDR?
14:18
- It's a really good question.
14:19
It differs per hiring manager and founders, right?
14:21
Like at different stages.
14:22
For example, you guys are in like a later stage
14:25
sort of situation.
14:26
I assume you have more trading and tools in place, right?
14:29
We're talking about like a scrappy startup.
14:30
I mean, people look for different things.
14:32
I've seen companies want someone who played sports
14:34
in school because it shows that they're competitive
14:37
and they have drive.
14:37
- So true.
14:38
- I've unfortunately seen some managers put fortunately
14:42
or unfortunately put too much emphasis on like education,
14:44
which is like--
14:45
- Interesting.
14:46
- Like I want them from this type of school.
14:48
It looks at the school.
14:49
Nope didn't go to one of these schools in this state out,
14:51
which is really upsetting.
14:52
- Okay, yeah.
14:53
- Yeah, that's a good point.
14:54
- That's new.
14:55
- Do I feel like we don't even look at schools really,
14:57
necessarily.
14:59
- Yeah, I mean, I'm telling, it's a Florida company
15:02
and if they had a community college, didn't want to opt in.
15:05
Even if I knew that this person was gonna be super hard
15:07
working was probably willing to work harder
15:09
than someone who went to UF, like whatever.
15:13
Nope, didn't want to talk to them.
15:14
As far as like what the three things
15:16
that they may be looking for, I would say is like grit,
15:18
someone who's hungry and someone willing to learn.
15:22
I would be curious what you guys,
15:23
what are the three things that you guys look for
15:24
when you're hiring?
15:26
- Those were spot on.
15:27
Like we always look for people with grit, hard working.
15:32
The only thing I would probably add is coachable
15:35
because a lot of different SDR orgs are different.
15:38
Obviously the products different
15:39
who we sell into the ICPs are different.
15:41
So being able to adapt with the changes
15:45
and always wanting to improve your process
15:47
and not be stuck in your old ways is really important.
15:50
- I also would say someone who's very creative
15:53
because as this role is always changing,
15:55
we want someone who again is gonna stay up with the times,
15:58
is it enough for you to put themselves out there,
16:01
get creative?
16:02
- Definitely.
16:03
That's why that's so weird to me,
16:06
that that account that you were talking about
16:09
is so particular on that person's background
16:11
because we care more about that person.
16:14
Like their head space, like their mentality,
16:18
their creativity, their ability to work hard,
16:22
things like that, not what school they went to
16:25
or any of that superficial stuff in my opinion.
16:29
- Right, 'cause if you look at the schools right now,
16:31
we don't have to get into it, but, you know,
16:33
doesn't really matter what school you go to,
16:35
there's gonna be hooligans anywhere.
16:36
(laughing)
16:40
And I'm referring to all the antisemitism
16:41
that's happening on all the college campuses right now.
16:44
Steph, why don't we talk about any mentors
16:49
that you've had in your life recently
16:51
that maybe helped you long in your career
16:56
or in your life or, you know, any mentors
17:01
that stick out to mine?
17:02
- There's a few, I mean, obviously, you know,
17:04
our parents have taught us like the meaning of like hard work
17:08
and providing for your family, which has played a huge role
17:10
in like where I'm at in my chapter,
17:12
especially with a unique set of circumstances.
17:15
There's a few that come to mind.
17:16
I mean, it's really hard to say
17:17
there's so many good people that I've met recently.
17:19
I think one of, so, so,
17:20
I just pivot back to something before I think
17:22
one of the benefits of like the experience
17:24
that I've had recently is it opened up doors
17:27
to so many amazing people that like,
17:28
I'm gonna be able to connect with.
17:30
So beyond just like recruiting mentors,
17:32
like just incredible people, like I'd be really sad,
17:36
like it's so hard.
17:37
I feel like I'd miss out on saying things.
17:39
I will say, I'm gonna bring up one person
17:42
that's really impacted my life pro family this year.
17:44
It's Nadine Macaluso, Jordan Belfort ex-wife.
17:48
You don't know who she is, look her up.
17:49
You're an SDR, you probably know who she is.
17:51
She's been a mentor, game changer,
17:53
on everything from living life, healing,
17:56
like running a business, like showing up for yourself,
17:59
being a mother, she 100% hands down outside a family
18:03
has been like the biggest mentor in my life this year
18:05
and has literally transformed it.
18:07
- She's a brother. - For so many reasons.
18:08
She's amazing.
18:09
She's just like very inspiring.
18:11
So that's from like life perspective
18:13
and being like a mother and like,
18:15
she had a similar experience to me.
18:16
From a recruiting perspective,
18:17
there's two people that come to mind.
18:19
Heather Belucci, who was a...
18:22
- Wasn't her first boss?
18:24
- She was my first boss in 2015
18:27
at Careers USA here in Boca.
18:30
And a whole 'nother story, but long story short is kind of cool
18:33
'cause it happens in every company, every culture.
18:36
There was a girl and we can call her Kim.
18:38
She had the same birthday as me.
18:40
She was... (laughs)
18:42
That was actually her name.
18:44
- Giving Taylor Swift's newest song.
18:46
- Yeah, it is giving Taylor Swift's newest song.
18:48
- I didn't even think about it.
18:49
Thank you, Amy.
18:50
We'll call her Amy.
18:51
Let's call her Amy.
18:52
- I was just gonna say let's call her Amy.
18:53
- Oh my goodness.
18:54
Okay.
18:55
She had the same birthday as me.
18:56
She didn't like the way I dressed
18:57
and she did not like my personality.
18:58
We all know not for everybody.
18:59
That's fine.
19:00
She was mean.
19:02
She was mean and I was upset.
19:04
And like, obviously it was a youngie in my career.
19:06
Like I didn't know how to be in an office
19:07
with someone I didn't like.
19:08
So we would kind of get into it.
19:10
Long story short, we had a fight blow up.
19:12
My mentor, my boss at the time,
19:14
who was still in touch with
19:15
because at the time,
19:16
she was going through something I recently went through.
19:19
So she, 10 years, nine years later,
19:22
is still in my life as a mentor and friend.
19:24
Long story short, we got into a fight
19:26
and we worked everything out
19:27
and then she pulled me aside,
19:28
my mentor at the time and she said,
19:29
"You know what, Stephanie?
19:30
"There's always gonna be another Kim.
19:32
"No matter where you go.
19:33
"You don't need a quit
19:34
"because there's always gonna be another Kim."
19:36
So my point is is that even in my office in New York,
19:39
I knew there were more Kims.
19:40
So I knew to stay in my own lane.
19:42
But like that advice was super helpful
19:44
in my understanding and culture, right?
19:47
'Cause my job is to go in and help managers and candidates
19:50
who are tired of some toxic cultures.
19:52
Having that reminder that there's always another Kim,
19:54
you essentially take yourself wherever you go
19:56
and there are people that are gonna mirror Kim
19:59
in the office, that impacted me.
20:01
There's something recently that had happened.
20:02
I don't wanna share it yet.
20:04
It's a story that's kind of ongoing,
20:06
but I have a dear friend who has recently shown up
20:09
as a mentor.
20:10
She is patient, loving, powerful,
20:12
understands the nuances of the past few years.
20:16
And I would say she's a mentor
20:17
because she is teaching me other skills
20:20
that I think it's important to have
20:22
to move forward in a consulting and recruiting business.
20:25
So I'm not ready to call her out
20:27
or share any of the stories,
20:28
but she knows she's very special to me
20:30
and I'm grateful for this person
20:31
who's currently being a mentor
20:33
on one of the projects that I'm on right now.
20:34
So we're always learning
20:36
and I'm grateful for everyone that I get to connect with.
20:38
- I love that.
20:39
What's this saying?
20:40
- Well, I love you, Delilah.
20:42
I love you.
20:43
I'm sorry and I gotta shout you both out.
20:46
You too deserve kudos.
20:47
You've been the reason why I'm here today.
20:49
We'll just leave it at that.
20:50
Thank you.
20:51
I love you both.
20:52
You're part of it.
20:53
- We love you.
20:54
- Okay?
20:54
- Yes.
20:55
- Yeah.
20:56
- There's this saying that I heard the other day
20:58
kind of made me think of you where it's like,
21:01
you could choose to get rid of one thing,
21:03
to get everything.
21:05
And I feel like that could resonate a little bit.
21:08
- Oh my God.
21:09
- I'm gonna cry.
21:10
- No, but I would feel like, you know,
21:12
she's just this, I know we haven't been giving too much detail,
21:15
but like guys, she's a single mom and she owns a business.
21:19
We can put two and two together.
21:20
It's been difficult.
21:22
The fact that you've been able to like balance everything,
21:24
but to us, you're living such a now beautiful,
21:27
successful life.
21:27
I know it's been really hard,
21:29
but I think that turning point for you is giving up
21:32
what didn't serve you anymore.
21:34
And now like all you're experiencing
21:36
is like all this abundance.
21:37
So just like we've touched you, you've touched all of us
21:41
just by your story.
21:42
- You guys were a big catalyst to that.
21:43
And I will say it's still painful and I'm still learning,
21:46
but I know that Victoria said this to me 15 months ago.
21:49
She said, "Your future self will thank you."
21:51
And I will say that I'm proud of myself
21:54
and that everything is for my child moving forward.
21:56
So all the decisions I've made were the day I became pregnant.
22:00
- Beautiful.
22:01
Let's, so Stephanie, we like to close off
22:04
with some fun rapid fire questions.
22:07
So they are a little bit random,
22:09
but what would you say is the best,
22:11
I mean, you've said a lot of great advice,
22:13
I think through this whole episode,
22:14
but what's the best piece of advice you've ever heard
22:17
or received?
22:18
- Oh my goodness, that's a hard one.
22:21
- Yeah, that's a hard one.
22:23
- No, it's fine.
22:24
Let's think of something.
22:26
You got, okay, this one comes to mind.
22:27
You gotta put your own oxygen mask on
22:28
before you can help others.
22:30
And this year has been learning about
22:31
how to put my own oxygen mask on
22:32
because I depleted all my resources
22:34
from years of putting that elsewhere.
22:36
- I love that.
22:38
It's so funny you say that
22:39
'cause I was telling my mom something similar to that
22:41
'cause on a plane, it's really interesting
22:43
how you put yours on before other people.
22:46
So, oh my God, I'm gonna think about that tonight.
22:48
- So it's like a known saying.
22:49
People say that all the time,
22:50
like always put your oxygen mask on before.
22:53
- But it's just so, I don't know,
22:54
I feel like it goes against my grain a little bit internally.
22:57
Like I wanna help other people before myself,
22:59
but you can or I'll feel never be successful.
23:02
- Right.
23:03
- Yeah, I've learned it the hard way,
23:04
but at least I learned, right?
23:06
And there you go.
23:07
If you could switch lives to someone for a week,
23:10
who would it be and why?
23:11
- That's a hard one.
23:14
Oh my.
23:15
Victoria, Victoria, I'll be honest with you.
23:18
I miss my life in New York City.
23:20
I love my son to death,
23:22
but I do love my life as a single woman
23:24
without children living in Manhattan,
23:26
running around, being your age 27, 28 years old.
23:30
I miss that chapter.
23:31
I also would have thought through other decisions
23:34
more clearly before I made them.
23:36
That's okay.
23:37
I feel like people can normalize saying like,
23:41
yes, I love being a mom, but the shit's hard.
23:44
Like I would love to be a funny something for a day.
23:47
- All right.
23:48
- Well, it's not even that.
23:49
Here's another thing too.
23:50
- I thought you were gonna say,
23:51
Ariana Grande.
23:52
- No, no, oh, forget the magic chapter.
23:55
So I will say, so a couple things.
23:59
So what I wanna say is,
24:00
I know I could be funny for a second,
24:02
what I wanted to say a few things.
24:04
So I think the thing is, is that like,
24:05
for even like someone who's young
24:07
and like wants to settle down and like has this dream,
24:09
like for me, I think it's like, take your time
24:12
with the career, right?
24:13
Like I didn't get my act together with like work
24:15
until I was 29 years old, honestly.
24:17
Like I didn't experience abundance.
24:19
And yeah, like let's just like live in a three bedroom.
24:23
Things are fine.
24:23
Like thank God, I've a roof over my head.
24:25
I was so attached to a specific dream.
24:27
And what I learned and what someone had said to me recently,
24:29
it's okay to build a new dream, right?
24:31
So what I'm saying is that when I was 28, 27, 20,
24:34
I was in such a rush to make things happen.
24:36
And I was trying so hard to control things.
24:38
So where I feel like switching lives with my sister,
24:41
it's more or less like you have this whole opportunity
24:43
recreate or create a life and like learn
24:45
and like really take your time
24:46
and redesigning what that looks like for you.
24:48
And it's okay that I messed up.
24:50
It really wasn't, it wasn't, I didn't mess up.
24:52
Like I have a good life now.
24:53
It got me here, but I think I do miss being single
24:58
without a child in New York City running around.
25:00
Not gonna lie, miss it a lot.
25:01
So that's actually really profound.
25:05
Like I think that's-
25:07
I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that.
25:09
Yeah, I'm sure a lot of like-
25:10
I mean, I just shared about it today
25:12
and someone said I wanna be back in my own apartment
25:14
and watching Netflix.
25:15
Like I literally just posted about it.
25:17
So it's so timely on how you're asking.
25:18
I didn't even see your part.
25:20
So that's hilarious.
25:21
It's funny.
25:22
If you could rename yourself, what name would you choose
25:26
and why?
25:27
Oh my God.
25:28
Victoria, no, I'm just kidding.
25:29
(all laughing)
25:32
That's good.
25:33
Stephanie, do we need to unpack something in there?
25:35
Gaming.
25:36
Okay.
25:38
What's that girl's name for my starts with us?
25:40
I don't know.
25:41
Some-
25:42
Okay, actually I'm channeling Taylor Swift.
25:44
I would call myself Taylor and I'm manifesting.
25:46
I'll trade my life a day in a life with Taylor Swift.
25:49
Let's go back to Taylor.
25:50
Oh, her name's Lily.
25:52
Her name's Lily.
25:53
That's Lily Bloom.
25:53
That's Lily Bloom.
25:54
Yeah, Lily Bloom.
25:55
All right, I would be Lily Bloom
25:56
and I would go for read the book, Life Mayors the Book,
25:59
Lily Bloom or Taylor Swift
26:01
because Taylor's freaking awesome.
26:02
She rules the world right now.
26:03
That's who I thought you were gonna trade lives with.
26:06
Yeah, I'm gonna trade lives with Taylor.
26:07
I don't know, life's.
26:08
But, you know, Victoria's a well-
26:09
No, I like the Victoria melody.
26:11
Okay.
26:13
Well, this is your favorite question.
26:15
My favorite question of all time.
26:17
What is the most unusual item in your refrigerator
26:20
right now on the spot?
26:22
You don't have time to think about it.
26:23
I don't really have an empty fridge.
26:25
I don't really have a lot of food.
26:27
Milk, milk, it's Benjamin's milk.
26:29
That's like literally the only thing I have in there right now.
26:31
It's some fruit and veggies.
26:33
No, what's the most unusual item?
26:36
You for sure have like half a meat and avocado
26:41
in there or something.
26:43
It's just not in the fridge.
26:44
I have stuff not in the fridge.
26:45
I have, I'd say muffins.
26:47
No, that's not, no, no.
26:48
I actually just thought of mine.
26:50
Like mine would be pomegranate juice.
26:54
Why do I have that in the fridge?
26:55
It's unnecessary, but...
26:57
I just don't, like I'm really bad.
27:00
Like it's a real bachelor I've had.
27:02
Like I don't really have a lot of food.
27:03
I just have food that's for Benjamin.
27:05
We should have a hot pot after this.
27:08
Yeah, it's time you start going grocery shopping.
27:11
Yeah.
27:12
(laughing)
27:13
The last question, what's the last phone that you have?
27:15
I do have a lot of broccoli.
27:17
I do have a lot of broccoli and cookie dough.
27:19
Can't you always buy like bags and bags of broccoli,
27:21
but you never cook them.
27:22
My mom doesn't think you're paying.
27:24
They're weird.
27:25
'Cause I think I'll be healthy and if I get hungry
27:27
or an Instacart stuff, but then it like doesn't work.
27:29
So it doesn't matter.
27:30
So it doesn't work.
27:31
I stopped buying a bunch of broccoli.
27:32
I got a cut down.
27:33
What's the last photo that you have on your phone?
27:36
It's kind of weird.
27:37
So I'm working right now on being more effective
27:39
and organizing with my processes.
27:42
So I bought myself this big monitor and I have my laptop
27:45
and I took a picture of my setup
27:46
and I sent it to my family to prove
27:48
that I'm getting more organized.
27:50
Love that.
27:51
Sent it to mom and dad.
27:52
And it's you right after.
27:53
So yeah, that's the last picture.
27:54
- I don't think I received that actually.
27:56
- It's cute.
27:57
It has my vision board on the left.
27:59
Has my bookcase and then I have my sprays.
28:02
I'm gonna send it to y'all later.
28:04
And then I have a stroller like hanging out
28:06
and some baby stuff.
28:07
But I took that picture of my little setup.
28:09
- Balance.
28:10
- Love it.
28:11
- Well, Stephanie, it has been such a pleasure having you on.
28:15
I really appreciate you coming on here,
28:18
sharing some of your story.
28:20
I'm sure there are people out there who could watch this,
28:23
who work with recruiters, who work with agencies
28:26
or are looking to get in touch
28:28
that can definitely learn a thing or two
28:29
from hopefully from listening to this episode.
28:32
- Yes. Thank you so much, Beth.
28:34
- You just wanna talk life and ask me about my Risa Tisa story.
28:39
I'm happy to have a conversation with you.
28:42
- What's a Risa Tisa?
28:43
- You're gonna get mad.
28:44
Google it after.
28:46
- Oh, Lila, what's Risa Tisa mean?
28:48
- I don't know, I'm just gonna go with it and nod my head.
28:50
- You might wanna cut this out.
28:52
- Yeah, no, I think we'll probably keep it.
28:54
- Okay, good luck.
28:56
- Lila, anything you wanna end with?
28:58
- You're just so inspiring, I think,
29:00
on a professional and a personal level.
29:02
So like she said, reach out with any and all inquiries.
29:07
And she's a great person to talk to.
29:09
So thank you for joining us.
29:10
And I hope you guys enjoyed.
29:12
- Bye guys.
29:13
- Bye. - Bye.
29:14
(upbeat music)
29:16
(upbeat music)
29:19
(upbeat music)